1-2-3 Women Respond to How Getting Engaged is a Life Changer

My previous post, Are Women More Concerned about Being More Engaged to Get Married, led me to extend an invitation to other women. I was curious. How are other women being inspired or involved in getting engaged, with self?

What resulted, 1-2-3 women, 3 questions and 3 responses that are sure to get us thinking, hopefully talking about what it means to be engaged?!

NAR 3 Engaged

“I am walking into new realms of possibilities and opportunity, and there is no room for the dead weight that has held me back.” ~Narender Strong is a creative and kind soul with sights set on launching her signature brand, “Bella Sue” Photo Cred: @tiffytalks

1. What caused you to be more engaged?

My desire to know my purpose and live in it, as well as uncertainty and fear have summoned me to self engagement court. Looking back, I’ve always been a purpose chaser and existentialist. I recall back when A Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren was released. As I began to read the book, it peaked my curiosity about what life meant; and how I could connect with my purpose and live it out. Twelve years later I am still trying to figure out my purpose. I have been going through life feeling aimless at times, because I don’t have a clear answer of my purpose.This has caused much frustration. There is a part of me who believes I have been shown or given reverberations of my purpose. Yet, I feel that God has not given me that simple “this is it” moment of certainty. Despite this, my yearning and desire to move beyond stagnation and into a higher level of existence have called me to carve out this season for a real journey of self. Insecurities, lack of self acceptance and any other deep rooted issues holding me back have to be cast aside. As you emphatically stated, I am one talented cookie packed with purpose.

2. What did you do to be more engaged?

As a believer and spiritual (vs. religious) Christian, I have become more engaged through my walk with God. For me, I believe my purpose is centered around God, and I needed a church and fellowship environment that fed my spirit. I was never one who read the bible on my own, and I still don’t. I am working on that. However, fortunate for me, I attend a church that is premised on Scripture, so I have acquired way more biblical understanding than I could have imagined. By becoming more soundly aware of God’s character, God’s will and desires for me, I have been able to engage myself more with love, forgiveness, acceptance and gratitude. I am becoming less focused on what I do not have and for the first time operating in the now of gratitude for all that I do have. By the grace of God, I am forging ahead freely, no longer hinged to self doubt, inadequacy and uncertainty. I am engaging to own my value in every area of my life from work (yep new job in the works), personal (not wavering on what I desire in a mate) and physically (running regularly and working with a personal fitness instructor). Most of all, the more engaged I am with God, the more God allows me to be engaged with my spirit, which allows me to thrive in my elements of purpose.

3. What encouraging words can you give to other women that have yet to engage themselves?

One word, BELIEVE. Believe in your higher power and in the unconditional love that God adorns you with everyday. Believe in God’s ability to get you from where are you are now, to where you desire to be. If that is a total life makeover or just a spirit-led tune up, embrace it, because the results will be remarkable. Also, believe in yourself because you are good enough just as you are, fully equipped with every gift, talent and resource to fulfill your purpose. –NAR
"Never let the story you've made up in your head cause you to go down a road that you're not happy with." -Nina Keyes-Reid is a committed and brave heart that graciously shared her story with www.tiffytalks.com :) Photo Cred: Nina with a @tiffytalks twist

“Never let the story you’ve made up in your head cause you to go down a road that you’re not happy with.” -Nina Keyes-Reid is a committed and brave heart that graciously shared her story with www.tiffytalks.com 🙂 Photo Cred: Nina with a @tiffytalks twist

1. What caused you to be more engaged?

What caused me to be more engaged with my purpose, journey and God was when I realized I wasn’t happy with my life. Two years ago, I was recently married to my long-time boyfriend of 12 years (together 11, engaged for 1 1/2). We met as teenagers and were together ever since. In the beginning, things were great. Our life was far from perfect and our relationship started to deteriorate. We were fighting constantly, had terrible money problems and I was losing a lot of weight due to the stress of our combined issues. I stood by him through all of it and was taken for granted for years. I started a home-based business toward the end of our relationship and began to do some personal development. I also started to build a stronger relationship with God. Eventually, I could see that I wasn’t happy, he wasn’t happy and our children were suffering because of it. I was ashamed at our failed attempt at marriage and was embarrassed to admit that we weren’t working. I stayed too long because of those feelings.

2. What did you do to be more engaged?

I began to work on myself. I started listening to and watching positive material, I started reading books, I attended workshops and conferences and started going to church on a regular basis. I changed my eating habits to healthier choices and started working out regularly. I also began eliminating toxic people from my life, which freed me up to become healthier and happier.

3. What encouraging words can you give to other women that have yet to engage themselves?

On this journey, what I realized is that I must take care of myself first. I can’t take care of my family, if I’m a mess. I have to take time for me, learn about myself, and not be afraid to say no and walk away from situations that don’t serve my highest good. I’ve come to learn, if the road you’re on doesn’t bring you closer to God, you’re on the wrong road. –Nina Keyes-Reid 

"When I shut down and detox it's like one of the best things I can do for myself, so that I can be good for me and for the work that I do for others." -Cassandra N. Vincent is the bright and gifted Creator of The Cassie Brown Project. Photo Cred: @cassiebrownproject

“When I shut down and detox it’s like one of the best things I can do for myself, so that I can be good for me and for the work that I do for others.” -Cassandra N. Vincent is the bright and gifted Creator of The Cassie Brown Project. Photo Cred: Kelvin Bulluck

1. What caused you to be more engaged?

The feeling and experiences of living an unfulfilled life. I believe that with time, maturity, an overwhelming sense of my God-designed purpose, and the need to experience life more deeply caused me to seek a deeper engagement with myself and the woman I’m evolving into. I’ve always been a person of self evaluation and reflection, I do it often. When I was honest with myself, I realized how much time and attention I lacked in dedicating to the process of being the best I could be for me. I love this process of self engagement, becoming better acquainted with who Cassandra is, and loving everything about who I’ve been designed and purposed to be. It’s the most liberating and beautiful journey anyone, especially, a woman can partake.

2. What did you do to be more engaged?

My process for becoming more engaged with myself really came down to shutting down much of the busyness, activities, and even interaction, as well as dealings with certain people in order to get to myself. Again, self evaluation is huge for me, after taking an assessment, I realized that the fullness that I wanted out of life was being hindered by me.

I have found that often times what works best for me is sort of taking a personal retreat; for me this means “shutting down”, retreating to my personal space where I fill myself up with goodness. Goodness from prayer, from the Word of God, good music, healthy eating, and even working out.

It’s like my personal detox.

This detox period is especially a sensitive time for me because in removing myself from the things that I need purging, I have to be particularly careful to not fall into any depressing thoughts or challenges. This is why filling up on goodness is so key! When I shut down and detox it’s like one of the best things I can do for myself, so that I can be good for me and for the work that I do with others.

3. What encouraging words can you give to other women that have yet to engage themselves?

We as women have to become aware of our God-given gifts, natural talents and abilities. These gifts, are a blessing and help us to nurture and birth nations, ideas, and visions –but if we do not take the time to be nurtured, cared for, and well engaged by self (ourselves) we will struggle with being fully strong and able to carry out the work and purpose we were created for. You know what you want and you know your Creator knows exactly what you have need of.

It’s time that we embrace the beauty and preciousness of our hearts and our temples, so that when we invite others into our lives, they are invited into the life of a well engaged woman!

It’s our time to be fully present and engaged in the life that we want and deserve. We deserve peace, beauty, true love, and all the goodness that our hearts can stand. Therefore, we have to first dedicate ourselves to creating the space for that life and welcome goodness. Looking outside of God or yourself, often yields things contrary to goodness. -XO Cassandra H. Vincent 

Wow! I had no idea the responses would be this great!! Thank you ladies. Thank you God. I hope you were able to hear a snippet of your story through these 3 women. If not, maybe you’re more encouraged, knowing that you are indeed on the right path to being emphatically engaged with you?! It’s not easy, I know. So, if you’re not there yet, what’s exciting is you have the power to choose now because you are needed and worth getting intimately engaged, too!!!

With Love, Narender, Nina, Cassandra &…

Tiffy Sign 90
P.S. Let’s chat more. How’s it going for you? Would you like to add what’s worked for you? Please comment below and share this post! It matters.



By | 2017-03-03T06:07:46+00:00 August 20th, 2014|blog|12 Comments

About the Author:

Are you new to TiffyTalks? My name is Tiffany. I reside in Philly, but I'm originally from Boston. I'm Deja's mom, and I enjoy my urbanista lifestyle. The #GetEngaged mission I'm on is simple: I believe when a woman gets engaged with her true self, she's more likely to make better decisions, set boundaries and take the risks that bring her closer to the desires of her heart. I'm living proof that getting engaged works! Pull up and enjoy the #GetEngaged articles and resources.


  1. Cassandra August 26, 2014 at 6:37 pm - Reply

    So grateful to be included! Powerful what the other ladies shared as well. Being in tune with self is so on point! ENGAGED & Evolving and loving it! -Cass Love ya Tiff!

    • Tiffy August 26, 2014 at 7:06 pm - Reply

      Hey Cass! So, glad you could contribute. We have great work to do together!! -Love & Hugs

  2. Crystal August 26, 2014 at 10:44 pm - Reply

    SUCH a beautiful and awesome article! I’m loving being engaged and thanks for sharing this. Feeling blessed ♥

    • Tiffy August 26, 2014 at 11:37 pm - Reply

      Crystal, Yay!! I’m feeling blessed too. Your enthusiasm has given me life. -XO

  3. Allison Valderia August 27, 2014 at 5:36 pm - Reply

    Shout out to Tiffy, Cassie and all the ladies! Great post!

    • Tiffy August 27, 2014 at 6:31 pm - Reply

      Hey Allison! Thanks so much for reading and who doesn’t love a shout out?! Best to you.

    • Cassandra September 25, 2014 at 7:55 am - Reply

      Hey Hey Allison!!! Thank you! I’m just seeing your comment! xo!

  4. […] getting cozy on the carpet, I asked Armond (Nneka left us to chat) to read “1-2-3 Women Respond to How Getting Engaged is a Life Changer.” From there, we began to dialogue about the significance of getting engaged, how it can strengthen […]

  5. Shantel hamilton October 1, 2014 at 4:14 pm - Reply

    Very Nice post! I was actually re-directed to here from your Meetup group! I wish you much success!!

    • Tiffy October 3, 2014 at 2:44 am - Reply

      Shantel, Thanks for checking out TiffyTalks and your well wishes. I hope to see you at a TwentySomethings meet up. Blessings!!

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