Based on the definition below, if you had to rank yourself, where would you fall on the self-esteem scale? On the high or low end?
Self-esteem refers to the positive (high self-esteem) or negative (low self-esteem) feelings that we have about ourselves. We experience the positive feelings of high self-esteem when we believe that we are good and worthy and that others view us positively. We experience the negative feelings of low self-esteem when we believe that we are inadequate and less worthy than others. ~Dr. Charles Stangor
I just bumped into an old colleague from Altria. The company I worked at for 10 years prior to the whole leap of faith, get a Divinity degree, self-employment, launch TiffyTalks.com thing.
You ever know you know someone’s face, but you can’t quite recall their name or where you know them from?
That happened to me. I was like, “I know I know you, but can you please tell me how?!”
She said, “Look at the vehicle!” I’m like, “Okay, yes you work with such-n-such…the company car gave it away.” I still couldn’t recall her name, but I did tell her,”Wow! You have a great memory.”
She said, “You had an impact on me.” —“Really?” I said, “What did I do?”
Okay, I’ll stop right here. I won’t bore you with our back and forth conversation.
I do want to emphasize her words: You had an impact on me.
Now, I want you to think about how you’re impacting others? What are the common ways that people describe you? What words come to mind? Keep them close! These could be clues that speak to your strengths and purpose.
She went on to tell me, whether I believed it back then or not, I seemed really certain about who I was and sure of myself, like I knew what I wanted. What I heard her saying is; I exuded a certain level of confidence and the way I carried myself positively impacted her as a woman.
I believe God sends each of us a trail of signs to help us get who we are and who we’re meant to be.
The question is how engaged are you in reading the signs? And, how confident are you to believe that God cares that much to communicate personally with you?
Truth is, back then, I wasn’t as confident on the inside as I am today, but I receive her perception of me. Why? Because I’ve received those same sentiments from multiple people throughout my life.
It’s no surprise to me that I was led on a trail, to work at Altria, to take a leap of faith, to go to Seminary (ahh, wait, Seminary was a stretch for me!), to write inspirational articles and books on faith, relationships and self-love, to speak and coach women on tuning inward, to strengthen their spiritual and personal power to love and be loved.
All the signs in my life have been pointing me towards everything I’m doing today.
But, here’s what I’ve come to learn…
If you have low self-esteem or if you don’t think you’re worthy of goodness or happiness, you’ll brush off compliments and possible signs that God wants you to get. Instead of living out your strengths and pursuing your purpose, you’ll be stuck and unsure about yourself, and which direction to take.
I totally received those compliments from my old colleague because I wanted to hear if she was going to share a Divine nugget that I needed to hear. [ God does speak through people, right? ] I didn’t brush her off or talk over her. I was all ears. Like please, do tell!
I was expecting good or God to come out of our encounter.
Do you get where I’m going with this? Those with low self-esteem struggle to believe “the good” that someone says about them, and therefore may miss out on the God happenings in their life.
We can’t settle for this.
We must take time to checkin with ourselves, to uncover our insecurities and ask God to help us improve areas of our self-esteem that can prevent us from experiencing and engaging life fully (John 10:10). Check out these low self-esteem indicators that can block the promises of God.
7 Ways Low Self-Esteem Blocks You From the Promises of God
- You can’t receive compliments. You’re unaware of the positive threads (or themes) in your life because you don’t know how to take a compliment. God speaks through people, and could be using their words to help you see the signs.
- You constantly worry about what people think. Stepping out into new territory or doing something out of the ordinary is difficult, when you’re worried about what people think.
- You downplay your strengths and overemphasize your weaknesses. In order to excel in your purpose or get to the promises of God, you must get comfortable with what you do well. Work your strengths and forget your weaknesses.
- You act like all is well with you, when it’s not. You struggle to ask for help or prayer, but God created us all to be interdependent. We do life better and achieve the promises of God through people.
- You’re emotionally driven and impulsive. James 1:5-8 urges us to be thoughtful and not double-minded. When you’re unsure about yourself and God speaking to you, your decision making suffers.
- You personalize things too much. In order to see past things, and lock in on the promises of God, you have to get comfortable with this truth: it’s not about you.
- You linger too long in bad situations and relationships. The ability to move on is a great quality, especially when God directs you to do so. The inability to detach yourself from unhealthy people, or to switch gears or careers, makes obtaining the promises of God impossible to acheive.
I thanked my old colleague for stopping me to say hello. Her kind words were a nice reminder to continue being who I am, and to stay engaged with the path I’m on. What about you? What are your thoughts about self-esteem and how it connects to God’s promises being fulfilled? Comment below.
With Love + Purpose,
P.S. You don’t have to continue questioning yourself, and your singleness. You can make the right step for you. Your mind, body and soul needs renewing, join us at the #GetEngaged Retreat for Single Women. Your confidence will increase and your love life will never be the same. [ There’s space for 5 more women. ] Click here to register!