In the past, has your heart been bruised, entangled, or loosely given away, all in the hopes that you would "find love?" Right now, are you waiting to be found by the one made for you?
In all your dating, networking and time spent getting to know others: Have you ever considered pausing to get engaged with yourself, to explore who you are and examine your truest desires? How about digging deeper into the desires that God has placed inside of you?
If you've been eager to be in a relationship or to get married, this article is meant to persuade you to consider --why so? AND to help you avoid any additional bruising or unnecessary pitfalls, while you're out their living single.
Recently, I jokingly said to an audience of women...
You ever hear the gospel song, "I Give Myself Away" by William McDowell? Well, many of us are giving ourselves away, and not to God, and not for what we're worth.
If this resonates with you don't feel bad. It's real. It's okay, and it's oh too common.
I know what it's like to want a relationship to work. I gave myself away and away and away, thinking that one day the return would be a ring, a husband and a family. I was wrong about that one, and guess what? It's okay.
Here's what I do know for sure though:
#1. It's not okay to remain stuck replaying the sting of the loss: being stuck on replay saps your life away. #2. It's not okay to sulk over a man whose moved on with his life: be grateful he showed you where his heart is and is not. #3. It's also not okay to SETTLE for meaningless encounters with men who are all wrong, for you. Your soul logs every encounter. Love yourself, more.
Your heart, body and time is worth guarding (Proverbs 4:23).
Looking back, there were signs along the way that I overlooked because I wanted the relationship, more. Now, that I can look back with gratitude and a smile, and not with bitterness and sorrow, I want to share these telling signs with you.
7 Signs You're Trying to Give Your Heart to the Wrong Man:
1. You've been quick to give him your heart, but he hasn't asked for it. In all his advances, he has yet to ask you for your heart or show you by his actions that he even wants it.
2. You aren't able to add value to each other. He doesn't feed you mentally, physically or spiritually, and vice versa. There's no iron sharpening iron going on here.
3. He doesn't show sincere interest in you and what you care about most. If you're a mother, this includes your children. If what sets your spirit on fire is of little of interest to him, can you live with that?
4. You desire commitment, but he's been clear about not wanting what you want. "Can two walk together without agreeing on the direction?" -Amos 3:3
5. You have more drama than harmony. You consciously or subconsciously do things to make the other feel insecure and unloved vs. assured and loved.
6. You are wearing too many hats to win him over. One day you're his chef, evangelist, life coach, financial advisor, counselor, credit lender, referee, and so on and so on. Relationships are sacrificial, but sis you are over-functioning.
7. You don't have peace within because you're doing things against your mind, body or spirit. There's a peace that passeth ALL understanding that comes from God (Philippians 4:7), but also comes when we live congruently with our beliefs and values. If entertaining him makes you feel torn within, that's a sign.
Have you been tempted to overlook any of these signs? Comment, let us know below.
Tiffany Wilson, M.Div -@tiffytalks | Instagram